Now that I am home full-time I am trying to find a good balance between taking care of my family, home, farm and garden with the work I have coming in at my small design business.  I have never been so determined to slow down and find a balance between life and work as I am now.

I have dreamed my whole life to be at a point where I could find the peace and calm I was always looking for.  I think I am finally on a path to finding it.  My work is nice and gives me something to do in the afternoons when the South Carolina sun chases me inside while keeping my creative side stimulated at the same time.

Grown with families of their own but will always be my kids...

Over the last couple weeks I have been dedicating my mornings and evenings to finding my faith along with enjoying my home and family once again.  Over the years I have felt like a lost soul just wandering through life working myself into a state of stressfulness.  The last couple weeks I feel like I am coming alive again and look forward to each day like I haven’t in years.  If it weren’t for my wonderful hubby seeing me through all my stress overloads I may have been lost forever.

Love him more than words can ever describe.

My goal is to spend the next few months changing many things about my life.  I have a list of things to accomplish on my quest to finding my inner self again.  Some may look at me like I have lost my mind but the person that has been inside of me is just dying to find its way out.  I am determined to turn my life around to a simpler, back to the basics lifestyle.

We have been on this path for the last few years.  We sold our house in town and everything we had to buy 20 acres in the country.  It meant we had to live in our 5th wheel for 2 years while we saved enough to build our small but modest home but every bit of it was worth it.  If we can survive living in a 240 square feet we can survive anything, even being a one car family again.  This is only one more step in taking more control of our life.

Here are just a few things that are on my list:

1. Simplify. You won’t find many knick-knacks and clutter around my home, I have never had much use for them and the clutter overwhelms me.   My thought has always been if it doesn’t have a purpose then it doesn’t stay.  I will be simplifying my home even more in weeks to come.  It’s not about how much we have it’s about how we utilize what we do have that is important.  There is a sense of calm that comes over me when everything is in its place. So the 10 wine glasses I will never use and the cupboards of fancy dishes and clothes I never will wear will be finding a new home at the Goodwill.
2. Modesty – I have longed for the days when dress clothes, makeup and shoes where not a requirement every morning.  Bare feet and a little bit of face moisturizer is all this down to earth country girls needs.  This might be the area that many that know me may question but I am making a effort to dress and carry myself more modestly.  I have never been one for tight clothes, fancy jewelry and heavy makeup but I will be striving even harder for overhauling myself the same as my home. I have long given up pants and shorts and my attire now consists of skirts and dresses which makes my hubby a very happy man and makes me feel more like a woman. Not sure why but I actually feel closer to the Lord when I am not adorning myself with bangles and glitz. Call it my Amish tendencies but I am most happy being just myself as God intended.
   
3. Finding my place…Ever since I made the post about “The Role of a Woman” I know what my hubby expects of me and I have gladly changed the way I handle my role.  It was the Lord who made women to be a man’s helper and made the man the head of the home so I openly give him that spot and am happy to be at his side.
4. The roller-coaster of finances. We have been making great strides in living within our means.  We no longer have credit cards, don’t buy on impulse, and are aiming to be a one-income one-car family. We know it will come with a few sacrifices along the way but we are both prepared for the challenge if it means we will be debt free or close to it in less than a year.  So for now it means going back to being a one car family by selling my truck and the 5th wheel.
5. Soul searching – As a child and young mother, church was a big part of my life.  I made sure my children were brought up in a church and had a good spiritual upbringing. Over the last decade I have found myself wandering around searching for a place to call my worship home.  I have spent many years meditating and praying on my own but have a strong yearning to find a church I can call home.  I have been visiting many churches and have many more on my list until I find the one that calls to me.  Maybe it was turning 50 or maybe it was they day I walked in the woods a couple months back when I felt a strong pull to be in the folds of the peace I am looking for.

So as my days are becoming a joyful reason to celebrate everyday I am happily working harder then I ever had sitting behind a desk.  My mornings are spent praying and looking for guidance in my spiritual journey, hanging laundry, weeding the garden, scrubbing floors, feeding farm animals and making wholesome meals for my family. Well my afternoons are spent stimulating my creative side as I take care of my marketing clients.  A very nice combination but the difference now is that I am putting them in the correct order …faith, family, work.

These last few weeks before I leave my full time job have gotten really busy and I can’t wait for the calm of slower days to surround me.  Between lining marketing clients up to help with the loss of a second income and helping interview for my job at work I have been on a whirlwind of activity.

In the midst of a very stressful week I took time to go on a walk this afternoon and immediately felt better.  What is it about picking a spring flower, seeing a swarm of bees, shagging out a bunny and looking into a picture perfect blue sky that makes everything in the world alright?

I often forget the power nature has on me! All of my senses come alive when I am walking in Gods beauty.  The smell of the earth coming alive, the sound of the birds that make their home around our farm, an array of colors that visually stimulate me at every curve and once I made it back to our garden a walk through the warm dirt to soothe my soul.

The path through our woods always welcomes me in and today was no different.  The sun was playing light shows through the trees that made me feel as if I could reach out and ride a ray into the sky.

My walk may have only been a short 15 minutes today but by the time I made it back to the house and sat down to tackle a computer issue; my mind was clear, the stress was gone and I felt like I had just had a visit with an old friend.  And I know just who that old friend was today…had something to do with the ray of sunshine falling on my shoulder as I walked by.